our time is running out: danisnotonfire x amazingphil
by britneyissolame
Summary: 17 year old Dan Howell's (danisnotonfire) life journey from beginning to end. he's always been an outcast, and depressed until one video changed his life forever... I fucking suck at summarys. phanfiction based on "our time is running out" by muse
1. Chapter 1

Dans P.O.V _fag_, _gay_,_loser, ass hole, ass hole, bitch, fatass._ that is what people call me day to day nonstop,but i'd brush off the words,and continue living my depressing, and self loathing

years ago I told my mum that I was bi . my mum was quite shocked, and didn't have the heart to turn away from me coz of my sexuality, but one dreadful

day my mum had told her friend who just so happened to be the mother of a ignorant ass hole lad, who spreed the word through out the school. Of course he changed

me being 'bi' into being completely 'gay'. In the begging I thought people wouldn't mind,but I was wrong I was bullied I thought it would never end, but so...mehow I'd

got my self into thinking they were just we're just being playful, and jokeing around so I dont let it bother me. I sat comfortably in my bed with the warmth of my

heated laptop heating my legs. The rain poured down; heavily, pouding against the glass window, and the sent of the warm hot chocalote being made ran through the

house. I felt alone, and I wanted to find someone I could enjoy these kind of days with someone who I could share a laugh with, but again I just had my heart broken

from a girl, I thought we were in love I thought she loved me back, but I was wrong, love is rubbish, and could never work it self out.

I spent a fuck load of time scrolling through yotube trying to find an enjoyable video to watch. After what seemed like forever I desided to watch my favorite yotuber

'amazingphil'. I commented on all of his videos, and refreshed for new videos every time I had a chance too go on. I clicked a video of his called "paranormal activity' I

was quite frightened by the title, but I calmed my self down, and waiting pashontly for the video to finally load.

I laughed, and smiled like an idiot while the video played. After the video I somehow got encouraged to make a video my self. I set my camera onto a conter .I hesitated

to steep in front of the camera, but as awkward as I am I slowly walked in front of the camera... "Hi...my name is ...Dan" I said nervously. _there's no reason to be _

_nervous Dan it's a fucking camera. _ I told my self. "and this is my first proper video I guess...I've always wanted to make videos, but I never had the confidence or

motivation..." I began "but that was until some really good friends I've meet, and I thought I'd give it a shot" I said thinking of Phil. I made little skits to add on to the

video, and finally finished.  
That night I edited the video till the sun Beemed through the window once again. I uploaded the video, and fell asleep as soon as I could.

* * *

**authors note:**

**it's a really short chapter, but I promise the chapters will be longer then this yes this is a "phanfiction", and this long "phanfiction" is Dan's life journey from the beginning till the end. judge how I write go ahead I love critizim, and if you liked it leave a comment follow or favorite :). **


	2. Chapter 2 : comeing out

**authors note: my first proper phanfiction...let me know what you think so far :)**

* * *

Dan's p.o.v

I woke up exhausted not wanting to move, but I reached over to my phone laying on the night stand. my jaw dropped as I noticed the time "2:30" I read aloud. I wasn't

surprised, I stayed up really late. I was really depressed at the time, and I felt like I needed something lifted off of my shoulders, the only person I told that I was 'bi' was

my

mum nobody else. I didn't tell my brother coz he was young, and I didn't want him to be confused I wanted him to grow up a man that society wouldn't hate, and stare

In disgust. He looked up to me, and I didn't want him to do the same as I've done, and put him In the similar situations as me. another person I haven't told was my

father. the reason for that was coz, my father didn't approve of homosexuals or bisexuals being so open about the sex they are attracted to. I remember the words my

mother, and I exchanged when I told her.

my mum had just picked adrain and I up from school. "how was school boys?!" my mother asked cheerfully, we ignored her. "mum I need to buy a few stuff for a school

project." adrain said. "we could go know, but I'm feeling a bit sick do you mind going off alone?!" mum asked kindly.

"sure can you lend me the pounds?!" adrain asked holding out his hand In the gap between my mother, and I.

"as soon as we get there." my mother said. adrain pulled his hand down , and pashontly waited for us to arrive.

"_here you go son."_ my mother said handing adrain the pounds. "_be careful." _my mum said. he let out a deep sigh, and walked out of the car. _know is the time Dan just _

_tell her. _

I told my self.

"_mum." _ I said worriedly. what would she think, my heart beat increased rapidly.

"what's wrong Daniel?!" my mum asked consirned.

"how do you know something's wrong?!"

" Daniel I know when you need to get something of your chest, what's the matter?!"

I noticed Adrian purchasing items, I needed to do this as fast as I could.

" I'm bi." I uttered out.

"please don't tell dad or adrain, please mum. please." I pleaded, as her jaw dropped. I gripped onto her arm begging her not to tell anybody.

" I... I promise sweety." she sad kindly.

" stop worring know It will be fine." she said pulling my hand off of hers. I smiled warmly. adrain rushed into the car slamming the door roughly.

I remember that day so clearly, but she didn't keep her promise as I suspected. I dragged my thoughts out of anything similar as to what I just remember.

I logged into my favorite site 'youtube'. I remembered I uploaded a video. "lets see how the ol' channels going" I whispered... I was shocked "one thousand

views, and one hundred subscribers?!." I said shocked. I climbed out of bed, and set the camera up once again.

_little did I know that the one video would changed my life, completely._

* * *

**_authors note:_**

**_ I hope you guys liked it, and stick around to read the rest sorry this is a short chapter I will make them longer the story gets interesting :) comment favorite or follow i rather hear from you guys I want to know what you think good or good._**


	3. Chapter 3: who is he

Phil's p.o.v

"phil, Phil get up!" I heard a voice say. i noticed the annoying raspy voice,it was my brother_. he loved making my life more miserable then what it already was, but I just ignored his insults, and played along. "phiiillll" he called trying to shake me awake roughly. he pulled my pillow out from were my head rested on, and hit me playfully with the white pillow were my head once laid. "stop!" I moaned. he hit me one last time with the rest of his strength. "fine then I guess I have to tell mum" he said. I let out a deep sigh " tell her what?!" I uttered out. "that you're bi" he laughed with a smirk. " she already knows dumdass!, and why do you want me to get up?!" I asked curiously sitting up. "we're going into town with mum for mothers day." he declared "get up!" he yelled walking out of my room slamming the door behind him.

I didnt know were I was with my life. you may think my life was perfectly fine with my subsribers, and the popularity i was resieving from my videos, but you'd be wrong. nobody made me feel like I was important, I felt like I was just there. like I was just somebody they had to stick with. I was shy, and never socialized with anybody unless they would ask me a question or if I felt comfortable enough to be my self. the little vlogs I made on yotube didn't help me enough to remove the shell I was caved in. I wanted to stop being that shy kid, but I gave up hope I didn't think anyone could bring out the real me.

I erased those thoughts, and sluggishly climbed out of bed. I noticed it was getting late, i grapped a tee shirt,and jeans laying on the floor of my room , and pulled them on quickly.I grabbed my phone, and walked into the living room were my mum, and brother waited for me pashontly. I heard my brother letting out a few laughs that echoed loudly through the room. " what are you watching?!" I asked curiously trying to catch a glimpse at the screen of his phone. "this new youtuber he has two new videos uploaded he's so hilarious...he's better than you!" he teased showing his phone screen. the video was paused, he had chestnut brown smoth hair, and chocolate eyes. he wore a gently smile, and a side bang fring like I had. something about him made me feel happy, he seemed the kind of person that could light up the hole room...cheesy I know."what's his username?!" I asked "danisnotonfire" my brother replied pulling his phone away, and setting it into the pocket of his pants. it sounded so familer,but we're was it from?!.

we climbed into the car, and drove into town. along the way I keep my eyes on the soft white clouds floating along the clear blue sky, trying so hard to remember were I've heard that username before, but I lost my train of thought, and my thoughts wondered. "were are we going. You guys didn't have to take me anywhere" my mum said kindly. "we're going to dinner, and to the theatre later" my brother utter. "awe thank you guys, but you didn't have to do all this" my mum said. my brother and I didn't reply. "...so...Phillip yo-" he was soon cut off by me "don't call me that" "woah just asking if you were in a re-" I stopped him again, " I'm attracted to personality not the gender, and no I'm not in a relationship." "boys can we just relax for me?!" my mum asked. my mum was really kind, and liked to joke around with us, but sometimes she didn't feel like a mother she felt like a friend that loved to chime in with her little jokes, and true insults. I sculded my brother, and folded my arms glancing out the window.

we entered the large resturant, my brother had already reserved sets so me didn't have to wait behind the large waiting line to eat peacefully. a man lead us to our sets, and handed us our menues. he walked away to serve the other customers. too young teenage girls walked up to our table the older girl had long raven hair, and a huge smile laid out on her face. the other girl had dirty blonde hair, and buetiful blue eyes. they both had a boyish style. "are you amazingphil?!" the raven haired girl asked. i smiled warmly "yeah I'm glade you noticed me" I said. the girls mouth dropped " my name is Caitlyn, and this is my friend melissa, do you mind if we can get a picture with you?!" the raven haired girl asked. "not at all" I said I stud up from my chair, and did as they wished. they walked away with huge smiles on there face. I sat back down I noticed my mum, and my brother glancing over to me. " hows your channel going?!" my brother asked  
"have you receieved any nice comments?!" my mother chimed in.  
that's it...comments...danisnotonfire...he comments on my videos, and never fails to be the very first.

* * *

**authors note: **

**urm...thanks for reading :) comment?! favorite?! follow?!...or not...thanks for reading :) **


	4. Chapter 4:self harm

6:30

Phil's p.o.v

"Phil are you alright?!" my mother asked I haven't noticed I've been totally oblivious to what was happening around me, I had been thinking about that youtuber the whole time while I was suppose to be spending a good time with my family. why had I been thinking about him?! i was curious, and anxious to find out more about him, but why?! "uhm...mum... is it ok if I leave I'm sorry I just have a lot of homework to do?!" I appoligized "yes it's fine" my mother replied. I rushed out of the resturant, and toke a taxi ride home.

Dan's p.o.v

the sharp blade sliced smothly into to my wrist, as the blood dripped down into the sink. i continued slicing the blade deeply into my wrist for each word i had been called that day. "fag!" I whispered angrily, slicing the sharply pointed blade from a sharpener I had broken into my wrist; rapidly. "fat!" I whispered holding the blade to my wrist once again, but before I afflicted any harm upon my self once again, I heard a ring like sound coming from my laptop. I set the blade down into the sink, and walked back into my room. "new message" the screen read. I sat onto my bed pulling the heated laptop onto my lap, and clicked the inbox lay out infront of the YouTube home page. I was shocked to see who it was from. the message read:

_hello Dan I seen your new video's I really enjoyed them maybe we should skype sometime, and get to know each other better -Phil_

we exchanged messages the rest of the day. i never expected someone like him self would message a loser like me, I was nothing, but some kid making random video's to tease my self. that day I had forgotten about everything, I forgotten I had sliced my wrist, and forgotten to put the blade away.

Phil's p.o.v

I was so glade to see that he actually bothered to message me back. I wanted to find more about him, and get I know him .

_hi we should get to know each other better, but stick to pm for a while before skype- Dan_

I had already made out his personality from his video's, and messages he had sent he seemed nonchalant about the first message he had sent.

_I'm glade to hear that. we should ask each other questions to get to know each other better- phil_

_well I'm 17 I live in the south of England, I love muse, final fantasy, and a shit load of games- Dan_

I smiled warmly as I read the message we had more in common then I suspected.

_I'm 22 I live in the north of England, and I'm suprised...I like the same stuff you do - Phil_

we exchanged messages the rest of the day, the more we sent each other the more It seemed like Dan from his videos...

8: 30

_lol you twat no I don't - Dan_

_HAHAH...ok Dan- Phil_

Dan's p.o.v

it was beginning to get dark out side, but I hadn't notice. time had went by so fast, I was enjoying sending him messages. I wanted to Skype, but I was quit nervous to actually Skype a youtuber I've been watching for some time know. I heard a knock in the door "what?!" I asked angrily " sweety can I use your restroom Adrain is taking a shower in the other one, and I don't believe he's getting out anytime soon." my mother asked sweetly. my mother was quit nice, but sometimes all the emotions, and anger I had toward the people who would bully bottled up inside, and I had no one to take that anger out on, so I toke it out on her without realizing how much I could hurt her. "uhm...sure..." I said. i unlocked my door, and let her inside, but as soon as she stepped foot into my bathroom I remembered I had forgotten something... "Daniel?!"

* * *

**authors note:**

**thank you for reading I love writing this phanfiction please stick around I promise it will be way more interesting then this tell me what you think good or bad...or not...this fanfiction Is crap anyways.**


	5. Chapter 5: it isn't easy

Dan's p.o.v

I was such an idiot, I forgot to put the blade away, and wash my blood out of the sink. what was going to be my excuse?!. my heart panicked. my mother slowly walked out of the restroom, the was blade in her hands, and the blood dripped down onto the carpet. her eyes watered as they meet mine. "danie-" I cut her off before she could say anything else "mum it's nothing, get out of my room!" I yelled ripping the blade from her hand. "you need to seek help Daniel why didn't you tell me?!" she yelled. her continuous shouts echoed into my ears for so long i thought it would never end. anger, and frustration built up inside me like it had normally. "it's your fault!...it's your fault people bully, it's your fault why people bully me!" I yelled without giving my brain permison to utter out such harsh words, but it was the truth, it was her fault. I did not regret spilling it out. "get out!" I commanded once again. she toke a deep breath " daniel can we just talk?!" she asked. i lost my grip on the blade letting it fall freely onto the floor. she pulled out her phone, I knew what she was going to do, she was going to threaten me by saying she was going to call my father. that call was the least thing I needed at the momment " then I guess I have to call your father." there it was the sentence I was expecting to hear this whole time, but I made sure she was not going to make that call. "no mum! please...please he can't find out, you promised me!" I pleaded, but It was too late the sound of the front door opened, it was my father. I ran to my room door, and locked it. "mum please you can't!" I yelled standing up against the locked door. "Daniel Howell let me out right know!" she commanded. I didn't follow her commands. "Adrain!" my mother yelled  
"yeah?!"  
"call your father, tell him to unlock Daniel's door with the key!"  
"erm...mkay"  
I couldn't let this happen I wasn't ready to tell my father yet. not know, not ever. how was i going to explain why I harm my self?!. I plunged my self into my bed, I bit my lip holding back tears. it was to late I couldn't stay locked in my room forever. my room door slowly opened there was my father, he was so much taller then me I felt intimidated, and weak. "what happened?!" he asked  
"Daniel's been cutting himself!...can you believe it?!" my mother yelled "talk to him...I can't." she said walking out of my room leaving me with my father. he slowly sat at the end of my bed. I tried so hard to hold back the tears, but i couldn't hold them in anymore they freely leaked down my cheek. "let me see your wrist!" he commanded, I nodded my head, and pulled my wrist behind my back. "let me see it!"  
"no!"  
he sighed, and put his hand over his forehead as If he had a headache. "can you at least tell me why you have been doing this?!" he asked.  
I didn't reply I couldn't let him find out, I needed to make up an excuse, and fast, but as usual I failed too think of an excuse, and just spilled out the truth. "I'm being bullied...coz...I-I'm...bi" I uttered out, it felt as if a crap load of bricks were being lifted off of my shoulders, but more were being place on, as I waited for his response. his jaw dropped. "my son...is...b-bi?!" he said trying to make out of what I had just said. "yeah, and I want you to expect me whether I go out with ethier gender, it's not going to change me dad, I'm always going act like me no madder who I fall in love with." I held my breath waiting for him to respond. "get in the car son, we need to take a drive." he commanded.

I stepped into the car, as he climbed in after me. we drove around, as the bright stars began to beenm down. I knew this wasn't going to be just a drive, he was taking me somewhere.

after the long drive we parked infront of a small building. "what is this?!" I asked, glancing at the building.  
"get out of the car you're going to get help for your depression" he replied.  
this place wasn't going to work I knew it, I knew nobody would help me with this depression or stop the bully's coz those words would still haunt me forever. i didn't have hope, I believed my life would consist of breathing then dying for the rest of my life, and nothing else.

Phil's p.o.v

I had been messaging Dan for a while, but he haden't responded in a while. I began to get worried. had _I said something wrong?!_ I asked my self. to make sure I haden't said anything that could have hurt him, I looked at the last message I had sent him.

HAHAH so what's your favorite song from muse?! -Phil

I didn't see anything wrong with that message, he enjoyed muse. _stop worrying Phil you don't know him he might have gotten tired of messaging you_ a calm voice in my head had said.  
I herd a hard knock on my room door. "phiiilll dinners ready!" my brother yelled, as if I was miles away.

Dan's p.o.v

I sat down on the rough blue couch next to my father who hadn't talk to me in a while, I thought he was still shocked at his son being bi. I never wanted to tell him, coz I knew he would never look at me the same.i was also afraid that he wouldn't be comfortable around me, but apart of me knew that wasn't true another part did coz my grandpa had been against all of this, and It rubbed off on him. a tall young woman walked into the room locking the door gently, she had a white shirt with a blue tie chocked around her neck, and dark red hair. she pulled out a wooden chair, and set it right infront of the to of us. she also carried a wooden clipboard to take a few notes.  
"hello my name is jasmine, and I will be helping you with your depression. first I would like you to tell me why you think you are depressed, and don't worry Daniel Howell I will not tell anyone, you can trust me." she said kindly setting her warm hand ontop of mine. I pulled my hand away, I think my father noticed, I could already hear what he would say if she could not hear: daniel you're 17 ,a girl holds your hand kindly, and you pull away?!  
I did not care for gender I was attracted to the personality, but I really didn't want to touch or treated kindly at that momment.  
"...I'm being bullied... coz I'm bi..." I said tryin not to keep calm, and not release my anger out on her. "Daniel I want you to forget those names they have called you, just think of things that make you happy for a minute, and close you eyes. or maybe think of a girl or a boy who makes you feel happy." she said, that sentence through me off the edge I stood up. " you think this is easy?! you think I could just forget about everything?! do you know how hard it is to go around, and someone says you're no then every body around us stairs until we leave?! !. you can't help me! no one can!" I yelled knocking an old pot of a wooden desk, I left the room slamming the door, and exiting the building. I heard a ring coming from my phone, it was a text message from Phil, I has forgotten I had givin him my phone number. I smiled as I read the text I had forgotten every thing that I had done, and what had happened.

_hi Dan are you ok you haven't answered in a while - Phil_

_yeah I'm fine just a few things I needed to get of my chest- Dan_

* * *

**authors note:**

**thank you for ready, and thank you awesomeistpersonalive for being my first comment on this phanfiction. um comment?! favorite?! follow?! trust me later it's going to far more interesting remember this is his life journey, but it won't be that long thank you for reading **


	6. Chapter 6: never surrender

**this chapter is based on a song by skillet just incase you were wondering why the chapter name didn't make sense **

* * *

Dan's p.o.v

my father hadn't come out of the building for so long, I choose to walk home alone. it began to get cold as always, it was hardly ever sunny in london. I felt horrible for yelling at the woman, but i couldn't take the anger out on my father, he would ground me. i didn't know how to just relax, and release the anger out calmly. it was hard for me to look at my self in the mirror coz I would see nothing, but a random person who wasn't important in anyones life. I wish I was someone else, I felt like I didn't deserve to be acknowledged or admired from my videos.

I made it home, and quietly walked into my room. it was about 11:00, witch is around dinner for me. I sat slauched on my bed texting Phil for about an hour until I finally had the guts to skype him.

_erm...Phil want to skype?!-Dan_

_sure my names Phil lester it's easy to find me - Phil_

I pulled my laptop on to my lap, as my hands nervously search for him. I was so nervous I was hopeing i wouldn't be able to find him, but I did. I fidgeted with my hair, as the screen was loading. every spin the loading screen made my heart would race faster, and faster. it felt as if my heart was about to jump out of my chest, but i surprisingly calmed down. the screen finally loaded. he had raven hair, and light blue eyes. _he's so attractive_ I said to my self " wait, what?!" I accedently said aloud  
" huh?!" Phil asked.  
_great Dan that was such a nice way of introducing your self_ I told my self sarcastically shacking my head side to side.  
"oh...erm...sorry." I apologized. he smiled, and slowly moved him bangs out of his right eye. my heart beat raised.  
" it's ok. so how's your channel going?!" he asked.  
" fine I'm filming a video tomorrow, but I don't think my channel will go that far." I said doubting my self, as always. I felt relaxed, and surprisingly happy when I talked to him, the thought of ending the Skype call made me depressed, and uneased .  
"yeah it will, I promise." he began a small laugh escapeing his soft lips "if it wasn't for you posting that video we wouldn't be talking right know" he said smiling. I turn away as I noticed I was glancing into his eyes for a while.

Phil's p.o.v

1:00  
we talked for so long, for some reason I couldn't keep my eyes off him . I notice he was slowly falling asleep "Dan you look tired, want to end the call?!" I asked, I smiled as he slowly closed his eyes,but opened them as he heard my question. his eyes widened, as if he was being struck my lightning. "no! I'm not tired" he said. I let out a small laugh. I new he didn't want to be alone, and enjoyed talking so I talked quietly to make him finally fall asleep, and get a good rest.

a few minutes later he had fallen asleep, I wanted to make sure he did before I ended the call. " Dan?!" I whispered. no answer. I lay down, and hated to click the end button, but I had to get rest some time.

Dan's p.o.v

I woke up with my laptop in my full view. I then remembered how I feel asleep, I fell asleep too Phil quitly talking to me. the reason I didn't want him to hang up was coz if he did I would be thinking about him, and I wouldn't be able to sleep, but with his some what of a presence made me feel comfortable, safe , happy, and calm. I wanted to meet him badly.

that afternoon I was filming a video, making, an idiot out of myself. I just began to upload. "we're the fuck did all the yogurt go?!" my brother yelled frantically. I laughed until i ached with a sharp pain piercing through my stumache, begging me to stop. I heard my phone vibrate violently across the conter of my lamp. I held in my laughe, and answered the phone call. my heart beat rapidly, as I recogonized the voice. it was Phil.  
"hi Dan want to meet me around the mall later in the afternoon, don't worry i won't kidnap you?!" Phil laughed.  
"huh sure, but i will kidnap you. see you there" I said with a small grin

* * *

**authors notes: **

**thank you for reading this chapter comment?! favorite?! follow?! I love phan, and you?!**


	7. Chapter 7: always

**this chapter is based on a song by saliva**

* * *

Dan's p.o.v  
6:30  
I wondered outside the mall , waiting for Phil to text me were he had wanted to meet. I was so nervous, my legs were shacking,and I began I go pale. some people noticed, but I did not care, I was just so happy to finally meet a youtuber I've been watching for so long. I wish It wasn't as nerve wreaking as it was. my phone then rang.

_hi Dan I'm out side of Starbucks, can't wait to meet you-Phil_

I scuttled through a crowd of people to find my self to Starbucks. before I looked at my surroundings to possible find him, I toke a deep breath, and finally searched. "Dan!" I heard a voice say. I turned quickly, and seen that is was Phil, his raven hair slowly bounced, and his buetiful blue eyes shone brightly, making my heart churn. I thought I would feel like a complete child around him, but he was a little shorter then I. that fact made me feel happy, I've always liked to be the dominant one. "oh...hi, want to go grab a drink, and talk for a bit. it's too crowded?!" I asked. "sure" Phil responded.

we pulled out a set slowly drinking or coffe.. witch was filled with a crap load of sugar so it wouldn't taste like ass. "that bloody peasant wrote my name rong!" I said in between laughs.  
my cup read 'phan'. Phil laughed covering his smile shyly, I smiled. I loved when he did that, but i didn't know why he was so shy in public. "heay Phil. you don't have to be shy in public, I promise if anyone says anything I'll stick up for you." I said. I was afraid he would have token that the wrong way " I mean... we're friends now." I added, and with that he was himself, the Phil from Skype, the Phil from YouTube.

Phil's p.o.v

"thank you Dan" I said slowly smiling. I loved how articulate he was. I was so glade to finally meet him. every time I laughed at his little come backs, I would shyly cover my mouth. the reason for that was coz, I was really insecure about my smile. I was really disappointed at my self for being shy, but he seemed to bring the real me out.i never thought anyone could be able to save me from my shyness,or depression,but he did.

Dan's p.o.v

7:56

we walked around the mall talking, pointing out so many wrong things with society. _I wish i could just kiss him_ I thought  
_what?! Dan thats wrong why would you even think that?!_ I argued with my self.  
" so what's with your obsession with lions?!" I asked shakeing out that stupid argument with my self. he laugh, slowly faceing away. "I don't know what's with yours, and llamas?!" he asked shoving me slightly.  
" how do you know I like llamas?!"  
"Dan..." he began locking eyes with mine.  
"you talked about them half the time we skyped." he said. I laghed I remember I wouldn't talk about a lot of stuff besides llamas coz I was so nervous, and socially awkward, I couldn't help my self. I laughed, and looked down at the screen of my phone, I had gotten a text:

_Dan be home before 8:00 I'm taking you to seek help, and you better not run off like you had last time I'll be home at around 8:10-dad _

I knew if I showed up with a friend over my father wouldn't take me so I tried my best to convince Phil to come over. "heay Phil want to head over to my house?!" I asked shyly trying not to sound so eager. "sure let's go grab a taxi" he said.

Dan's p.o.v

7:59

we walked inside, no body seemed to be home. I felt relieved that my father wasn't home yet. I turned around to see Phil, it seemed like he was uncomfortable. he looked so innocent, and shy, and his lips so gently, a-and soft. I couldn't take it any longer. I crashed my lips onto his.

adrain's p.o.v

I slowly walked down the hall with my friend 'Ernie' walking beside me, he was really mischievous, and you never would guess what he was into next. we noticed it was silent witch was strange, coz Dan had came home. Ernie pressed his finger on his lips, telling me to be silent. we slowly peeked our heads out of the hallway. it was Dan...he was kissing another boy. Dan had always had other girlfriends, and never kissed them as pashonet as this one. he placed his hands on the other boys waist. and pulled him closer. the raven haired boy ran his fingers; slowly through Dan's hair. as Dan deepend the kiss he pushed the boy against the wall, making a pot fall of the counter resting against the wall, but they didn't seem to care and continued, deepening it softly. Dan seemed so eager or this boy's touch, it seemed he longed to be with him. I seen ernie reach into his pocket for his phone, he toke a picture. "what are you doing?!" I asked "your brothers a loser people at school would pay to see this!" Ernie said with a smirk. my jaw dropped I soon heard the frot door unlock, and sprit to my room

Dan's p.o.v

i felt like It was just Phil and I in solitude, but I was wrong, and oblivious to everything. I didn't hear my father unlock the door, but he rushed in. as I felt a evil prescense I released, and seen my father. I held my breath waiting for him shout, and forbid me from seeing Phil

* * *

**authors note:**

**thank you for reading this chapter comment?! favorite?! or maybe follow?!...or note this chapters rubbish **


	8. Chapter 8: last resort

**this chapter is based on a song by papa roach**

* * *

Dan's p.o.v

"what the fuck were you doing!" my father yelled, a flush of anger in his expection. "dad...I-" he interrupted me as I suspected, he never let me say my part in an argument. I noticed Phil didn't know wether to stand up for me or to back away, he didn't know what to do coz I was the one who basically through myself onto him. this was all my fault. "tell your...boy-" he swolowed deeply, as If disgusted by saying it " your boyfriend out of hear...know!" he commanded pointing a stern finger out the door.  
"he's not my boyfriend dad ...I didn't know what I was D-" he interupted me once again.  
"do as I said, and leave to your room!" he said

adrain's p.o.v

I quickly locked my door, I heard my father, and Dan exchanging shouts, but nothing from the boy. "fag caught in the act!" Ernie chuckled. "delete that picture know!" I commanded trying to grasp the phone out of his hands, but he gripped onto the phone tightly. "what makes you think I'll listen to you?!, dude people at school will pay to see this!" he said "you'll listen coz he's my brother, and his love life deserves to be kept private, and not to be shown to hundreds of people!" i addressed. "fine I'll delete it!" he said. he shown the screen of his phone, and deleted the picture, but there was something still bothering me, he wouldn't just delete the picture like that.

Dan's p.o.v

10:30

well I had gotten myself out of one thing...the therapy. I lie in bed thinking of what I had gotten myself into. why did I kiss Phil?! I don't like him do I?! I asked my self.  
no you don't coz its wrong Dan! I argued with my self again. the strange thing was I felt like that kiss was wrong, but I was bisexual...why had it bothered me. I guess I looked at it as a friendship, and nothing else, maybe that's why. I touched my lips remembering Phil kissing back: deeper.

Phil's p.o.v

10:30

I sat up in bed wondering what had happened, and why. I was so curious as to know why Dan had kissed me. the strange thing was...I enjoyed it. I wanted an explanation for every thing, but I was still in shoke to ask him why.

Dan's p.o.v

7:00 am

I was woken up my my alarm continuously beeping loader, and loader, as it waited for me to turn it off. I got so frustrated, I plugged out the courd, and threw the alarm clock out of the window. I heard a slight knock on the door, too soft to be my dad, but too rough to be my mum. "yeah?!" I asked curiously. " uhh...Dan we're going to be late for school. we might miss church if we don't head off right know." adrain said. it wasn't normal for adrain to just knock on my door, or even talk to me. something was up. "umm...mkay...I'll be out in a minute." I replied. I pulled on my uniform, and headed off. going to a catholic private school had made it so hard for me, especially since every one believes only boys , and girls belong together to reproduce. the students toke the bible so seriously, and when thy found out i was bisexual, the bullys had came from there grave to bring me into hell.

as I walked through the halls filled with lockers, and people laughing, and pointing at me, as usual. them laughing, and pointing me out didn't suprised me what suprised me was that there were more people picking on me. "heay seme look at your locker" a girl with green hair chuckled pointing to the front of my warn locker. as I glanced over to my locker, I couldn't believe what I had seen. that's why adrain was acting so strange, my own brother!.

* * *

**authors note:**

**thank you for the comments favorites, and follows! i read all comments. I love how the song last resort relates :) anyways comment?! favorite or maybe follow?!**


	9. Chapter 9: bully

**this chapter is based on a song by three days grace**

* * *

Dan's p.o.v

I yanked the tightly tapped picture off of my warn locker. my jaw dropped, and my emotions fulshed with anger. it wasn't just a picture that people could forget, it was a picture of me kissing Phil, that picture was gold for the bullys.

I pushed my self through crowds of people walking through the long corridors. i ignored the insults, and there stupid slurs. the only thing i could think off was hunting down my brother. he was the only one in the house the other night, it had to be him.

blame the family  
blame the bully maybe he needed to be wanted

I found adrian walking around stupidly acting, as if he was oblivious to the whole situation. "Adrain!" I yelled, my teeth pressed together tightly. "shit!" I heard him whisper. I ran up to him, gripped my hands in his shirt, and pushed him up against the sturdy grey locker. "did you take that picture?!" i asked pushing him further up the locker. "n-no..." he hesitated to speak, it seemed he glanced to the right, and corrected his answer. "I...y-yes" said Adrian full of shame. I threw him onto the ground, and made sure my fist meet his face. I punched him over, and over again until a teacher had pulled me away, holding me by my backpack. every body's eyes were focused on that horrendous scene. Adrain's face dreanched in his own blood, I felt bad, but I also felt he deserved it related or not. his friend pulled him off of the ground, he frowned angrily into my eyes. "suspended!" the teacher yelled. he held onto my backpack dragging me into the principles office.

I sat into the set placed infront of the principles desk. he had a bulky face, and a scarcely strange aperriance. "what makes you think that you're prohibited to do all of this?!" he asked slamming his rinkeld hands; formed into a fist onto the wooden desk.  
"do what?!" I asked, as if I nothing happened.  
"what do you mean?! you beat up your brother, and you're going against the bible" my principle yelled pointing a stern finger at the wooden cross hung above the clock.  
"I didn't take that picture I beat up Adrain coz he was the one who put up that picture, and I don't give a fuck about that damn bible...what about love!" I yelled standing up, knocking off the bible sitting on his desk. "true love is between a man, and a woman haven't you learned that?!" he yelled stand up off his chair . "fuck you!, and fuck this whole school!" I yelled slamming the office door, and into the corridors. the students mouth's were closed shut starring at me in astonishment as if they heard the conversation. "fuck you guys too!" I yelled flinging my middle finger up into air pointing it at hundreds of people. I walked past the shocked students, and exited the entire building.

he takes the long way home fighting his emotions he a loner, but tonight he won't go unnoticed

I walked home fighting away the words, and insults I've heard that day. how could Adrian do that to me?!, there had to be more too it, but what?!.

as I reached home,my phone has lite up with messages: "I'm not shocked it was just proof that we're right" "awe you went home to see your boyfriend?!" "finally you left, loser". "you walked coz you can't drive straight!". my eyes flushed with tears, as I read all of the messages. if they weren't teasing me in person they sent it. I threw my phone onto the floor. my mother walked into the room. "what's wrong?!" she asked worriedly noticeing me trying hard to hold in my tears. "the bullies, my brother, my family that's what's wrong!" I yelled picking up my phone, and running into my room slamming it .

I walked into the rest room, and sliced the blade into my wrist, about twenty times. the blood oozed out onto the sink. my phone rang again. I pulled my phone out of my front pocket, and answered it with my arms still dripping in blood, and tears raining out of my eyes. "hello?!" I whimpered.  
"Dan...this is kind of awkward, but what did that kiss mean yesterday?!" Phil asked

* * *

**note: **

**thank you for reading sorry for cliffhanger comment?! favorite?! follow?!**


	10. Chapter 10: life starts now

**this chapter is based on a song by three days grace**

* * *

Dan's p.o.v

i loved phil, but I couldn't tell him. we meet to become friends, and nothing else, I wanted it to stay the way it did. "oh...huh...nothing I was...just uh going through a lot, and didn't know what I was doing" I said. the blood gushed out of the fresh slits in my wrist. more, and more pourd out. I pulled a towell out, and rapped it around my wrist hopeing that It would stop the bleeding, but it was useless. I feel to the ground, and my vision faded slowly.

Phil's p.o.v

"oh...huh...nothing I was...just uh going through a lot, and I didn't know what I was doing" said Dan. I loved Dan ever since one of those Skype calls talking about silly pointless things, I realized that...I loved him. I never fell in love this fast before, but I knew we could never be together he was straight, and mentioned so much woman who I didn't even know, I had not chance, but why did he kiss me so passionately?! . It must really just be him going through a rough time. i was so lost in thought to not noice Dan wasn't talking, but sounding as if he was in a panic. " Dan?!" I yelled. no answer.

Adrain's p.o.v

you don't know why I toke the blame?!. i cannot say, but if I do my life will be in danger, and so will Dan's. as long as Dan sticks to the right desitions...he'll be fine.

Dan's p.o.v

I woken up on a hospital bed. bandages around both my wrist, and a gentle hand holding onto mine. I was a little disappointed it wasn't Phil's, but my mothers. the reason I knew Phil was in the room is coz I heard my brother, and Phil exchangeing words. the world around me seemed a blur, and every sentence were quite irritating echoes. I was praying my father wasn't in the room coz I knew he would yell at me adding more stress to my life, and I knew he would want to talk to Phil, although I didn't think he would remember Phil, Phil wasn't making eye contact with him that day, and my father was focused on me of corse. I wanted to get out of this state of being in oblivion, and explain my self.

3:00

I slowly became aware of everything, and could see, and hear things normally like before. I pulled my hand away from my mothers. "I was worried about you!" she yelled crying years of happiness, and smothering me with hugs, and kisses. I slowly pushed her away, and my eyes searched the room. "Phil?!" I asked noticing him sitting in a chair next to Adrian, with a small smile across his face. Adrain seemed like he was acting strange, he had small black bags under his eyes from wear I had injured him. he rocked back, and forth in his chair, as he bit his finger nails of furiously. "you deserve it" he said looking around the room frantically, as i he was being watched. he did not make eye contact with anyone. "yeah...I uh got worried coz I heard you drop your phone, and it wasn't like you to do that aside from how clumsy you are. I called you mum, and she found you fainted on the floor" said Phil. if it wasn't for Phil I could have bleed to death, I didn't know how to thank him enough. "thank you" I said my voice slowly fading. I was tired, and still a little week from the blood I lost. ",and I'm not clumsy you prat" I said playfully through, and extra pillow toward him, but I didn't have a lot of energy so it feel onto his lap. I smiled, at his innocent, adorable laugh. "mm...Melissa...Ernie...no...ha ha...no" I heard Adrian mutter to himself frantically "Adrain are you alright?!" I asked trying to meet his eyes.  
"you know nothing!" he yelled walking out of the room. what was going on why was Adrian acting so strange?!.

* * *

**thank you for all of the comment favorites, and follows this chapter is a bit short, but I will make them longer as the story grows comment?! favorite?! follow?!**


	11. Chapter 11: without you

**this chapter is based on a song by three days grace...I posted the next chapter coz I have no life, and I was listening to three days grace xd**

* * *

Dan's p.o.v

my mother glanced over to Phil, and back at me, as If they had planned something to tell me. "Dan I don't want to stress you out, but I have a few questions. " she said. "why did you hurt your brother, and why have you cut your self so badly?!" she asked. how was I going to tell her I kissed my best friend?!. not only that my best friend was in the room. I was screwed. "well..." I began gulping down my shame. "you know that broken pot in the living room?!" I asked. i wanted to sound calm, and take this easily, so she wouldn't take this situation so seriously. she nodded we head. "well you see...Adrain has put a picture I me all over the school...the lockers, walls, classrooms, and the picture was of me kissing someone" I said feebly. she toke a deep breath trying to catch up to what I had said. " right, who was that someone you kissed Daniel?!" she asked impassiont. i toke a deep breath trying to utter out his name. I had to tell her someday. "well the person I kissed...we sort of broke that pot" I said trying to remove the attention from what she had asked, but it sertainly did not work. "that didn't answer my question" she pointed out, as a large frown crossed her small figures face. "Phil!" I yelled. her jaw dropped, she stood stiff, as If was frozen in place. "I kissed Phil!, and you know why?!, coz I love him that's why!" I yelled. I was astonished at was I had just said. what did i just say, what if he doesn't feel the same way?! what will happen?!. a small blush creeped along Phil's gentle face.  
my mother ran out of the room , as I'd she was going to through up at that very minute, and had to move fast. Phil slowly stood from his chair. "I-is it true that you l-love m-m-me?!" he asked almost unable to say the words, they just came out as a big slur. I stood from my bed, my wounds still ached, as I pushed my self off of the bed. I walked over too Phil. "y-yes Phil...I love you" I said; shame in my words. I glanced down at the floor waiting for his harsh words. "I love you too"

narrators p.o.v

Daniels father ran to the room. he knew something stupid he did would be the cose for him being in the hospital. no madder what state he was in, his father made sure he would teach him a lesson. before he walked behind the blue curtens his wife pushed him to a hault. the woman pressed we finger onto her pale dry lips, and shushed him. begging him to to listen. "please don't walk in just look..." his wife whispered pulling the curtens back slightly, only to reveal Dan slowly planting a kiss on Phil's soft lips. " I've always loved you" Dan said as he pulled away.  
"they're in love, and you cannot stop them, nothing will break them apart do not cose any stress toward Daniel, just please leave the hospital. " his wife whispered solemnly. his father still shocked, he slowly walked out of the building trying to forget what he had just whitnessed.

Dan's p.o.v

",but what about your parents...your faith?!" Phil asked frantically. you could easily sense a glimpses of fear, and frustration through his expression. I kissed him softly on the cheek, and his fear soon faded away replaced with happiness " I'll figure something out...now I...um need to change mind stepping out for a bit?!" I asked. he slowly walked out. I pulled on my tee shirt, and jeans, I had on before this insident. as I pulled my backpack off of the floor, Adrain had walking in sluggishly,giving me an evil look. "you made the wrong choice Dan" he whisperes looking deep into my eyes. "Adrain wha-" I began, but was interupted when my mother, and Phil had walked in. "ready?!" my mother asked. I looked at Adrian suspiciously, and pulled my focus away from him. "yeah let's go" I commanded.

few weeks later...

Dan's p.o.v

Phil, and I recorded a video, doing the random crap we did all the time. sometimes it felt as if we were just friends on camera, but behind the videos, and truth or dares...we were much more. I sleep at Phil's for a few days that week, coz his parents were out of town. I loved being alone like this, isolated from the world. after we had filmed a video my phone had rang. Phil tossed my nearly torn phone over to me, and I had picked it up. "hello is this Dan Howell?!" the person asked. "y-yes who is this?!" I asked giving Phil a confused expression, making sure this was not one of his stupid pranks. "yes we'll this is principle of the school, and we just wanted to inform you that you will not be attending this school any further." they said calmly, as if it has not been a big a deal. "what?! why?!" I yelled frantically. "your father has informed us about every thing, and we cannot have a student running around going against the holy bible!" they yelled hanging up the phone. I sat there in shock. "what happened?!" Phil asked sweetly. "that's it! i can't take it...were running away...together!" I said looking into his eyes furiously

* * *

**thank you! comment?! favorite?! follow?!...comment?!**


	12. Chapter 12: teenagers

**this chapter is based on a song by my chemical romance :) remember Melissa, and Caitlyn ?! well that's them**

* * *

Dan's p.o.v

"what?!, Dan, are you insane?!, we can't run away your parents will find us, and our age difference!. not only that what about school?!" Phil panicked. I knew he was worried, and didn't know what to do, but I couldn't help, but smile. he looked so cute when he was afraid, and/or worried.  
he was right,but we had to get away, I couldn't stand living in a town were people judge, and stare, and that rediculous school that was brain washed by that stupid bible. I couldn't help, but be thankful we looked the same age. ",but I love you a-and i can't stand this town anymore please Phil...if not...I understand, I had a feeling this wouldn't last" I pouted. I simply said all of that so he could agree, and just run away with me. "Dan, this is going to last I-I'll run away with you" agreed Phil. I was relieved. I pulled out a peice of paper from Phil's note book. I began to write a letter to my parents:

no one expect us, mum you should take blame for all of this -Dan

I then ripped another peice, and handed it to Phil, as he carefully wrote choosing the right words to say he handed me the peice of paper witch read:

mum, dad I'm sorry, but I'm running away with someone I love for our happiness. don't come looking for us I'm murture enough to live on my own- Phil

I then tapped the two notes under Phil's pillow, so his parents would hopefully find it.

Dan's p.o.v

6:00

as we walked toward the bus station we held hands slowly walking, no need to be in a hurry. we did get looks, and rude comments along the way, but I was suprised, or Hurt I was used to it, but Phil trying to pull away , but held his hand tighter. "you shouldn't take them seriously Phil we're in love, and don't deserve to be ashamed of it" I whispered. his teansed hand soon relaxed into mine.  
we seen a girl with long golden hair sobbing quietly; her palms cupped over her face. I did not want to pass by her, and do anything, I would feel guilty. the worst feeling ever. "hey Phil want to go catch the bus, I'll be there in a second" I said. he nodded his. I kissed him one last time, and he headed off. I approached the young sobbing teenager. "are you alright?!" I asked kindly setting my hand on her shoulder, to comfort her. "my sprained my ankle, and can't get home!" she whined; tears running down her gentle cheeks. "were do you live?!, maybe I could help you"  
"across the street, w-will you really?!" she pointed toward a warm wooden house; dozens of trees towering over the small home.I didn't want to be rude, and leave her alone. i carried her home, and walked into the house. no furniture was placed inside the house exepted for two wooden chairs, and a large couch. I decided to place her on the crimson read couch, but as soon as I did, I felt a sharp pain in my head. I fell to ground, my vision faded.

Phil's p.o.v

the bus was about to come, and hadn't showed up in a while. I grew worried

Dan's p.o.v

I woke up tied down to a wooden chair. as I seen the girl with golden hair glance at me evilly. my vision still wasn't clear, and I wasn't sure what had happened. all I could think abou was Phil was he ok?! was he going to save me?!. I looked to the corner of the room only to see my brother Adrain sat down against the corner of the wall; hands changed together. I knew then, and there that I was not going to survive, Phil had no clue were I had gone, and who knows what this girl wanted from me. "Adrain!" I yelled "you made a mistake Dan!...you choose to be with Phil know we're both going to die" he chuckled evilly. "Adrain explain to me what is going on?!" I whispered, afraid the girl would come hear, and kill me right there. "Ernie didn't delete the picture he sent me the picture before he had deleted it he told me if I didn't put it up all over the school he would, and blame me coz I was the only one left with the picture. he had a cousin named Melissa he told her my brother was Dan...she said if you choose to be with Phil she would kidnap you, and murder you coz she loves Phil, and...she is insane, but you didn't listen. she also said I had to kill you to seem like I posted the picture coz I hated you, and if I murdered you this whole case would make sense, and she could be with Phil, but If I don't do the job, she's going to murder me, and use her friend Caitlyn, and make her do the job herself" Adrain explained. how did all of this end up like this?!. I was going to die, an had no way of escape

* * *

**this phanfiction is coming to an end soon so um I thought id give you guys fun facts about my ideas**

**first I was bullied before, and I used to be really shy, but I'm comeing out of shell...not really, and alot of there problems, and emotions are partly comeing from me,but in there prospective **

**second I go to a chatholic school no bodys against it, but my sister Kristen, and my religion teacher said stuch about the Kristen bible, and I got ideas, and Kristen seem to be rather brain washed by the bible. sorry if I afended any one, but it is like that in my prospective, and my town.**

**thirdly I hate the most hated family in America coz of there hate for homosexuality **

**fourth I read there was a sign that said gay phanfiction is a sin I said fuck that shit I'm writeing it anywasy, and I'm sure as hell never going to stop reading it. **

**lastly I've always wanted to be a writer since I was about seven years old, and I write like every day, and I had an idea for this phanfiction :)**

**,and make sure you remember little details from the past chapters coz some are going to be important :)**

**thank you all! comment?! favorite?! follow?!**


	13. sorry

I'm sorry but I will not be continuing this fanfiction but I'll gladly tell you what was going to happen.

- Dan was kidnapped and the girl Melissa planned to make him agree to marry her but if he said no she would kill him.

-Dan says no

-girl is ok with the rejection but she says he will die at the exact same time him and phil first meet, so the clock is ticking.

-she watches to see if he will be able to escape

-he can't

- the girl Caitlyn knows her friends plan and heads off to tell Phil

- they both attempt to save Dan

-Melissa is like "how can you betray me Caitlyn" blah blah blah, something like that.

- Phil fails to help him and it is the time they meet. Before Melissa can kill them they kill them selves

- and this is the part where I write a little something like "blah blah blah there time is up"

. . . I'm sorry but I never felt the need to finish it because I began writing other fan fictions and I got distracted.

this was Our time is running out.


End file.
